There is no confirmation of what you have accomplished, I think. We might have money in the bank, reputation in the papers, experience around the world etc. All these things we share with ourselves the most. All kinds of feelings are second-handed; we know the best about how we feel.
I felt lost once before. That was when I finally got into medical school right after high school in China. It was one happy accomplishment to me; trust me, studying real hard to get into the choice you only have through exams is not something everyone can do. Then, here confusion came; I figured that what I have been studying was not something I actually enjoyed, or at least had passion about. I made decision; I came to Vancouver in 2011, Christmas. For six months, I home stayed with a generous family, studying English at UBC.
To cut long story short here, I continued at SFU. I actually like it. I love the campuses (especially the one in Downtown Vancouver); it is not big enough to confuse students, but definitely not small enough to say ‘oh that’s it?!’.
Although I have been really depressed lately, I try very hard to look at the bright side. I met a man last Christmas, and he said to be ‘Be busy. Do not be stressed’. Indeed, I keep myself busy. Sketching, sketching and sketching. This is pretty much I have been doing for the past two weeks, except for working as a part-time in a retail.
This is a cute coffee shop where a lot of random people visit, I would say. Visitors, travelers, backpackers, couples, kids, senior citizens and myself. It runs slowly; I don’t feel the pressure at some Starbucks (maybe just me feeling this way). The spatial orientation is not that perfect; rearrangement happened somehow. It works better sometimes.
North Vancouver is great; I love the greens and purples these days. The time between spring and summer is terrific. Occasionally, it gives me the taste of hope and wishes. Things we want to do in this summer, and it feels like just this summer solely. I hope I can travel this summer for real by myself; I have been planning to Ottawa (perhaps, that would be another door to new sketches shared here in the future).